myJAMpackedlife

This past Saturday night I had the wonderful opportunity to get together and have some drinks and visit with some friends. Some of those friends were new friends and some of those friends were old friends. As I was sitting there visiting and laughing and reminiscing, I got to thinking just how wonderful this life is that we are living.

Some of us have known each other since high school and while our lives have all taken different roads, they sometimes intersect on evenings like Saturday and its like we are those 16 year old kids again. When I look at my friends and their husbands, I still see the young kids we once used to be. I think back to all the conversations we had about what we want our lives to look like when we are older, how many kids we want to have, what we want to be doing, the kind of moms and dads we wanted to be. What it will be like when we are like 36, cuz back then that was old and unimaginable. And now its like we’ve fast forwarded and we are there.

I look at their families and the kids that everyone is having and raising and I just think..this is it. This is the life that we always talked about when really were those young kids. I watch each new young family add a new addition and its just like everything is falling into place.  We all have the families we wanted, we’re all working to support that family and we are all enjoying every moment of it, even if it is rough and tough at times.

We’re really doing it.

And its so much fun.

Sharing it with those people who I shared my hopes and dreams with in the first place is even better.

Saturday was a moment of Awesomeness that will be forever etched in my mind.

So we’re a little over a year out of my unemployment and I am happy to say that what I thought would be a terrifying year, has turned out not to be too bad.

The fact that I received Employment Insurance for about 6 months of it did help. That combined with my husbands income allowed us to stay on top of our budget and actually stay on track with paying down debt in the process. We did have to cut back on a lot of the “extras” of life that we used to enjoy, however, we didn’t have to scrimp and shrimp ourselves out of any fun either.

Groceries were probably the biggest area that saw the cutbacks. That combined with the fact that we are out of the house so much more of the day has allowed me to cut my grocery budget back to between $500-$600 a month. While that is still a huge number, its a significant drop and I’m not sure I know what I was spending the money on before.

Well, I do. It was all just frivolous wasted things. Unnecessary treats for the kids, food that would sit in the fridge and never get eaten, useless household items that would never get used. I really do realize now how much of our income had been wasted. I find it so enlightening because I used to sit and wonder how I could possibly trim our budget and I really believed that there was no way. That the money we were spending, we NEEDED to be spending. Now, I can clearly see how much I could have been saving along the way.

We are on goal to have our trailer paid off this year. The loan we took out was actually for 5.5 years but I always knew it was a 3.5-4 yr plan. I do that all the time. Whenever we borrow money, I plan worse case senario and that is what we tell the bank and make plans for. But I always have different numbers and plans in my head, maybe just goals and challenges i guess, but it’s never for what we make the plan with the bank for. I don’t know if its the feeling of being locked in to payments, or the fact that I like to beat the plan, but it’s just how I do it. Anyways, the trailer was supposed to be paid off Sept 2014 and with any luck I will have that out of the way June 2013.

Once that is paid off, a portion of those funds will be allocated to the mortgage, increasing those payments. Those payments are already increased from what is on paper. Again, I knew that when we signed the deal. I believe the mortgage is a 20 year term, but I have a huge lofty goal to pay that off in 10-12 years. I would love it to be sooner, and that is the ultimate goal, but I also want to be realistic and not get side tracked by failure. Its a long term goal that is going to take patience and discipline.

With the change in careers of both my husband and myself, what our financial situation is going to look like in 1 or 2 years will ultimately determine how aggressive I can be. But I honestly never thought I could stay on track this year. I’m proud of us for staying on track when it would have been easier to cut back payments and continue to live with disposable income.

I’ve found a new plan along the way also. In all my readings I have discovered a Freedom Account. Basically, you divide all your yearly payments by 12 and deposit that amount in that account so when it comes due, the money is there. Things included would be car insurance, house insurance, life insurance, kids registrations, piano lessons, christmas gifts, etc. The list can be tailored to your specific needs. I love it. I can’t wait until I am in a position to start again. I can already see how that would give me “freedom” from the stress and worry about how much I need from this paycheck to put towards fees or registrations.

I’ve always believed in the saying that everything happens for a reason. What has happened is teaching me a lot about what I thought I already knew a lot about. And its opened my eyes to so many areas of personal finance that I would not have seen otherwise.

Last week I celebrated another birthday. Like usual, it went by with little fanfare as that to me is the perfect way to spend “my” day. I love the quiet, no expectations about anything, nobody bother me day that my birthday has become. And as I pass another year, I have learned yet another thing about myself. It truly is true that as we age we become more “ourselves”. What I have learned this past year, through all the drama that has been going on in my life, is that when I am bothered by something, I retreat. I don’t talk about it and air it out to everyone I see. I keep it inside, I rerun every scenario 50 times in my head, I rethink and question every decision I made to get me to the point of uncomfortableness that I am feeling. And that’s how I prefer it.

I guess I always knew this about me to some degree, but now I have a better understanding of why. I am easily swayed. I don’t trust my own instincts and second guess myself at every turn. Even when every bone in my body and my gut is telling me not to. I knew if I came on here and poured my heart out, I would get advice that would lead me one way or I’d hear things that I wasn’t ready to hear. I need to figure things out on my own and then whatever decision I make, its mine to own.

I’ve made some not so great choices lately and I am dealing with the repercussions of those choices and trying to convince myself I am OK with everything. When truthfully I am not.

I feel bad for some decisions I’ve made, Im pissed as hell at other decisions I’ve made, or rather haven’t made, and Im just trying to make sense of some other things that are going on still.

Just when Im about to throw in the towel and go to my normal MO of apologizing just to make amends, I get a message that tells me to stay true to who I am and stop sacrificing myself for everyone else.

Its a quote like that that tells me I have great friends in my life and yes I can have many more who like me just a little or at least pretend to, but I’ll take the quality over the quantity anyday. Not everyone is going to like me or my views and that’s Ok too. That’s what makes this world what it is. A group of widely diversified people.

I am truly embracing getting older and becoming who I am and living the life I want more and more each year.

I’ve been quiet on the blog front lately. I’ve been doing a lot of research in some areas to help me in the future, I’ve been studying HARD for school and I have signed up to do a project with some other bloggers. The stress over the last few months have added some extra LB to my frame and its been really bothering me and making me even more depressed.

So..when I saw the opportunity to join a group of other bloggers on a get healthy challenge, I thought, why not? It will be fun to workout and work it out eating wise with others.

So tomorrow and for the next 12 weeks I’ll be blogging once about my journey with Revolt. Its all so new right now and Im still trying to get through all the information, so piece by piece and bit by bit I’ll add some information and have some links for you to be able to find out more on your own.

Here’s to a busy 12 weeks!!

Congratulations to my very first winner entry #26

Karla S.

Karla has 24 hours to respond or I will have to pick another name.

I want to thank everyone who entered and came back everyday and reentered. It was so fun to see.

Stay tuned for more giveaways in the future!!